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Halloween Extravaganza 2006
BeetleJuice
Welcome back loyal readers. It's time for uncle Mark to tell you a story. Imagine a young couple who are very much in love. They live in a beautiful house in the country and spend their time working on their home and various wholesome hobbies. Then they die in a tragic car accident and are forced to share their home with
a bunch of city folk. No, it's not the next FOX sitcom, it's Beetlejuice, one of Tim Burton's finest films.
The movie begins with Adam and Barbara, the young couple in question (and a young Alec Baldwin). They're celebrating because they're about to start their two week vacation and, being homebodies, they decide to spend their vacation at home. Adam entertains himself by building a miniature model of their city in the attic, and Barbara does domestic stuff. But that's okay because
they love life and they love each other. But then something happens, one their way back from the hobby store, they swerve to miss a dog and end up driving off of a bridge.
The next thing they know, they're back at home and sopping wet. But something isn't quite right. Barbara's fingers catch on fire, they can't see themselves in the mirror and when they try to leave the house, they're transported to some strange desert world inhabited by carnivorous sandworms. Yep, they bit the big one alright. But things aren't that bad. They got a funeral and since they like spending time together
in their home, the after life just might work out alright.
Adam and Barbara hit a sligth bump in the road when their home gets sold to a family from the city. Well, sharing the house wouldn't be so bad, but this family is a bit of a bother. Charles, the father, just wants a quiet home in the country after having a nervous breakdown, so he buys the house and moves in with his hottie gothic daughter Lydia (a young Winona Ryder) and the evil step mother Delia. Delia brings her lackey Otho along and immediately
begins remodeling the home.
Adam and Barbara need help. They try to scare the family out, only to realize that the family can't see them. So they hide in the attic and fret over what to do. Well, there's some crazy dead guy named Betelgeuse who keeps running ads claiming he's the best bio-exorcist around. That might be an option, but can they trust him? Before finding out, Adam consults the handbook for the recently deceased and discovers that you can get help by drawing a door and knocking three times.
Adam and Barbara draw a door, knock and a portal appears. When they enter, they find themselves in a waiting room and are told that their caseworker would be with them shortly. Even in death, Tim Burton reveals that you'll have to take a number and wait your turn. Adam and Barbara get to meet with their caseworker Juno who tells them to suck it up and get that family out of their house. And stay away from that Beetlejuice guy, he's bad news.
Adam and Barbara return to their home determined to drive that pesky family out. But when they get back, they realize that they were in that waiting room for months and the house has been totally remodeled by Otho and the step mother.
Adam and Barbara decide to stick with what they know: putting on bedsheets and moaning. Well, that doesn't work on the parents and Lydia thinks it's her parents doing some sort of kinky stuff until she notices that there aren't any feet under those sheets. The house is haunted, she suspected it all along after finding the handbook for the recently deceased. Only, instead of being scared, she's fascinated. She even read the handbook and understood it.
But Adam and Barbara are still determined to get the family out of their home and they find the perfect opportunity. The family has decided to throw a dinner party and invite some of their old city slicking friends out to the country. After the haunting with the sheets failed, they resort to calling Beetlejuice by saying his name three times. It worked and Beetlejuice is thrilled to help them. The only problem is that he's a pervert and used car salesman rolled into one.
Adam's not so keen on Beetlejuice groping his wife, so they say his name three times and decide to give the haunting thing another shot. This time, they bring their a-game in what is probably the best dinner party haunting movie scene of the 80s. While enjoying a sterile dinner and insepid conversation, the step mother suddenly breaks out into song. Not just any song, she's singing Day-O. The guests are amused until they too join the calypso. The whole number ends with the shrimp cocktail grabbing the guests by the face and pushing them back in their chairs. Adam and Barbara are beside themselves with joy until they realize that they didn't scare anyone. Instead, the whole dinner party is beside themselves with
amusement and demand an encore. Adam and Barbara refuse to show themselves and continue hiding from the family.
Following the dinner party debacle, Charles comes up with a scheme to turn a profit by transforming the whole town into a giant amusement park of the supernatural. He invites his developer friends for dinner and is assured by Otho that if Adam and Barbara don't show themselves, he will summon them by using the handbook. So the plan is set, Charles invites his friends from the city and gives them a presentation on what they could do to the town. And for the finale, Otho starts performing an exorcism and it actually works. Adam and Barbara appear for the amusement of the guests, but something isn't right. They both begin to age quickly and it is clear that the exorcism is killing them, only Otho doesn't know how to stop it.
Desperate to save her friends from a gruesome death, Lydia rushes to Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice agrees to save them if Lydia marries him. It's not really the dream wedding, but Lydia decides it's worth it if she can save Adam and Barbara. so she says Beetlejuice three times and that's when all hell breaks loose.
Beetlejuice breaks onto the scene and has no problem saving Adam and Barbara. only he's not done having fun. He harrasses the guests with a series of pranks and then sets the stage for his dream wedding. Of course, once Adam and Barbara are released from the exorcism, they try to stop the wedding.
Beetlejuice is annoyed at first by Adam and Barbara, but then he gets pissed and zaps Barbara into the netherworld where she'll be devoured by sandworms. But that backfires, just as you think the wedding is going to go through, Barbra crashes into the house on a sandworm that eats Beetlejuice. She saved Lydia. And just to tie up any loose ends, the movie then cuts to a scene of Barbara, Adam and the whole family living together amicably.
I know there's more, but the musical numbers and Michael Keaton's performance are really what makes Beetlejuice so great. Who can look at shrimp cocktail the same after watching this movie? I don't know why we don't see more Michael Keaton movies, but this was one of his last famous films, wrapping up a series of awesome 80s comedies. It was also one of Tim Burton's best films, and Danny Elfman does his usual great job on the soundtrack. So jump in the line, rock your body on time...
-Mark
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