September 15, 2007
Misery Movie Review
Meet Paul Sheldon. A satisfied man. Not because he's about to enjoy a cigarette, but because he's a novelist and he's just finished a novel. You see, he's celebrating with the cigarette even though he gave up smoking years ago.
But there's one little hitch in Paul's gitty up. He crashes his car on the way home from the cabin he was renting in Colorado and winds up running off the road and nearly killing himself during a harsh storm.
But no problem, he's rescued by a nice woman who just happens to be his biggest fan. And, as luck would have it, she's also a nurse and she bandages him up just fine. The storm may have knocked out the phone lines, but everything will clear up in a couple days and he'll be off to the hospital. In the meantime, there's nothing to do but relax and let her take care of him. What a nice lady.
To repay the kindness Paul lets Annie read his latest manuscript. She's just as thrilled as punch. Oh, but there's one little catch, Paul's new book is real, it's gritty and it's full of potty mouth language that Annie just isn't comfortable with. And that's when things get weird. It's at this point that we're introduced to the many faces of batshiat crazy...
No, it's not the women's studies major you drunkenly hooked up with in college, it's Annie and she just doesn't like this one bit. This is compounded by the fact that Paul's latest Misery novel just came out and she finally finishes to learn that he killed Misery. All is not right here, not right at all. But it's nothing Annie can't mend; she first makes Paul burn his new novel, knowing he doesn't make copies of his manuscripts...and the two will simply sit down and write another Misery novel together. They can correct this. If not, at least there's hope that the town sheriff is looking for him.
In the meantime, Paul starts to formulate a plan. Get strong. Be nice. Kill her THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GET. So he starts to work out, starts sneaking out of his room when she's not home, and is basically as sweet as fruit punch. He figures that with a little time and perseverence, he can kill her good.
One slight problem. Annie discovers that he's been sneaking out when she's not there. So she does what any concerned caregiver would do: she drugs him, ties him to the bed, and gives him a hobblin'. She's a firm woman, but she's fair.
Nothing like a sledge hammer, a board and a human foot to make a point. Just look at the angle she gets on that foot. I swear, this is the best hobbling scene ever. Well, I don't want to ruin the ending to this film except to say that it's the best horror movie ending ever. You've scene Jason and the teenager duke it out. You've seen Freddie get killed multiple times. But Misery is the only movie I've ever seen where the final fist fight to the death is between a cripple and an obese woman. It's dirty, it's gritty, and it's amazing.
Well, it's good to start Halloween on this note, be sure to stay tuned for more. And if you haven't seen this movie yet, definitely rent it. The acting is great and it's well done...
Return to the Halloween Extravaganza
